CT v3.1

soft souls

2012-02-07T12:12:00.000-08:00

of hall culture vs sports.

2012-01-13T13:16:00.000-08:00

of hall life I. inherent problems

thinking about hall life again.

have grown to love so many people in hall. fellow freshies, the lovely bunch of B3/B4 seniors, choir friends, PS coursemates, fellow DP dancers, awesome choreographers, etcetc.

yet after talking to quite a number of fellow freshies i thought about some inherent problems with eusoff. like the over-focus in sports. the seemingly diminishing cultural scene. the unsaid but ever-present social obligations. like how there are no secrets or and very little personal space.

and then, some of us realized that our batch kinda suck. like got very little talented dancers singers or sportspeople, and a lot of the more talented ones won't have enough points to stay on.

so we were kinda depressed about the hall's future in these two or three years. when the superawesome dancer seniors all graduate, what if the DP in two years' time becomes so cui that they decide to cancel it altogether!

of hall life II. like a cui!

came to a realization that i kinda suck when i started taking over as choir section leader. like after 6 years of not touching the piano plus i only really started singing this year then suddenly i have to teach my fellow altos how to sing some songs. i can't imagine how it would be like when the senior choir leaders all step down. it will be how cui!

plus quite a few of the cultural talents i know are all moving out. because the cultural scene here seems quite disappointing to them. cf KR and sheares at least.

since i have like 100+ room bidding points it would be a waste not to stay on. plus i actually love so many people here in eusoff. if im able to, i want to continue staying in B block, join all the cultural groups, join 3 DP items, sing for all the events, pass down the legacy from my seniors' time to incoming freshies next year.

but then.

of eusoff sports.. lame

next year, if sports continues to get more and more dominant in eusoff, rather than giving in and joining sports, i would rather move out. not that im anti-sports, i actually used to play sports, but IHG to me seems utterly pointless la.

friendly interhall matches would make sense if exceptional players were to be chosen from the IHG to represent NUS or something. but at such a trivial intra-university level, such heated ferocity as the enmity between EH and TH do not make sense at all.

good sports players should join the varsity team and fight it out with other tertiary institutions at various nationals. those who don't make the cut or want to play sports in a recreational manner can play in friendly matches versus other hall players.

i wouldn't deny that inter-hall competition serves as a good source of motivation to train potential good players into varsity team players, but importing players and all that stupid politics in sports are completely unnecessary.

like how we play badminton with fellow players in the same neighborhood. there may be this uncle who is damn good at playing, and everyone can respect him for that, but there's just no need to find another uncle from another housing area to come over and beat this uncle.

and for the importance of IHG in eusoff to have ballooned to such extreme proportions is just ridiculous.

they can decrease the cultural funding all they want - there's a chance that our DP can become an Esplanade event, but IHG is definitely staying safely within the walls of NUS.

of hall life III. venture

now i suddenly got the chance to join the rag main comm. looks like joining FOCs do have its benefits. i think i'll take up the position and (perhaps) subsequently join nussu next year?

depends on how eusoff fares next year in terms of culture. if they still don't get their skewed priorities right, honestly i'd rather move out... i definitely don't wish to though. not with all my friends and memories here..

see how.

being too nice = looking for trouble

2012-01-13T04:39:00.000-08:00

i think i'm too nice to people. weird people especially.

sometimes when i find someone who's deemed to be weird in some ways and was thus ostracized or despised, some stupid noble part of me would tell me that 'there might be a sad reason/past to this person's weirdness'. so when everyone else shuns the person, i would try my best to treat him/her like everyone else, turning a blind eye to any peculiarities in the person.

but more often than not, the attention-deprived pariah minorities would mistake my normal treatment for something more - when said pariah is a girl she would start to rely on me and become so dependent it's annoying, and when it's a guy... trouble ensues.

i believe this path from annoyance, discovery to a change of attitude has been walked by many. i regret to say that only now then im finally utterly convinced that.. i should not be so nice to weird people.

and i should really stop being so scared to hurt others. because i found out there are some people who just DON'T get it, and won't get it unless slammed in the face with the cold, hard truth. that being said, i really don't have the guts to tell what i wanna say to someone who thinks that he's damn friend with me and does all sorts of weird things that makes me uncomfortable. omg. and i thought he was nice in the beginning.

i totally suck la. caused so much pain to myself because of that. was screaming into my pillow and drinking and crying in exasperation.

i really really have to rectify this.

must start to ignore people i don't like. don't have to entertain everyone. and don't be scared to hurt people. because some ppl really need the wake-up call!!!

im tired.

2012-01-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

finally i heard the words i feared, and settled it for good.

but somehow my close friend doesn't understand what i did. because this situation is too similar to what has happened before, so the worst was assumed of me.

shit like this has happened too many times recently.

to be precise, these few days.

i'm utterly weary of such things.

really, really afraid of them.

i know what im doing for fuck's sake.

there's a living example there to show me. telling me that if you did things that way, u'd end up like that too. hated. disapproved of.

i've been accused of too many things i'm not.

and i'm getting really, really tired.

maybe it's time to move on to another chapter.

... i just want everything to be normal again.

life's pleasures.

2011-12-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

SCREW YOU BLOGGER FOR DELETING MY ENTIRE LONG POST.
SO, AS I WAS SAYING.

it's been a month and a half now, and nothing much has changed except for the fact that im now single once again. but relationship is now at the bottom of my list. when your mom allows you to spend money, it's time to consider purchasing luxury products for hedonistic indulgence and enjoyment.

so if everything goes as planned, by next jan i shall have an awesome gaming laptop that can support all the mindblowing graphics offered by video games nowadays (and doesn't overheat like my @#$%^$ ACER), a samsung galaxy nexus S, and a NEW ROOM :)

at some point i've decided that the worst mistake i've made this year was to trade my B2 single room for the E3 double room. but come to think of it i realized there are quite a few awesome seniors/friends i've got to know in E block. sans the shisha, E block isn't too bad after all.

after i move to B3 its time to start engaging the msian girls of my batch. feeling guilty that i haven't even made an effort to hang out with them before this. and as instructed by the eager msian guys, i shall try to jio them out for dinners and suppers together as a batch. let's see how the batch bonding goes! :D looking forward to cooking with the guys too hehe.

speaking of gaming laptops, im having a hard time deciding between razer and alienware.

sucks though knowing that quite a few much better laptops will be out in mid 2012. but who cares, must grab one of these babies while i have the chance to. no im not proud that im still living off my mom's allowance, unlike my hardworking friends. but i really wanna spend these few years doing and learning the stuff i like first.

i SWEAR to go into full-fledged MONEY-SUCKING mode after i graduate.

need a yorkie!

2011-11-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

omg i effing want a pet ))):

awww ((: meow fist!

next sem imma get a single room. and if possible i wanna smuggle some quiet pets in. hahaha. like the hamsters in D2. and cats in D1. hey how come D block so many animals one ah.

ahhh

i SOOO want a yorkie!! been wanting one since ages ago. just don't understand why pa is so against having animals in the house. after graduation i shall stay outside and keep pets of my own.

don't care! (:

omg i can feel my thigh muscles

2011-10-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

walao damn zi zhao i shouldn't have said i wanted to cycle more when we reached the supper place! but i rmb saying 'just don't cycle inside nus can already' leh! so i got cheated. hmph. can't rmb how many steep slopes we climbed already la. crazy shit. it really IS the national university of slopes man.

the downhill rides were quite shiok though. hahaha. oh bumps at the end of downhill slopes are quite unnerving.

so yeah got jelly legs now. but i still want to get a bike!!

i've been talking about it since JC1 pls. for me the distance between HCIBS & the college section was abit too far alr, esp for ppl like me who regularly reach my class bench 7:25am on the dot. i would always brisk-walk to school, and whenever someone breezes past me on a bike i'd stare in envy. then in the later part of J2 when i half-moved to opposite KAP it got worse cos i'll have to take bus to school and the traffic along dunearn road in the morning, is complete BULLSHIT. you won't believe it unless u've been in a jam along that stretch before.

so quoting my own post in J2:

I NEED A BIKE!
really don't see the point of me waking up so early JUST TO GET THROUGH THE MASSIVE JAM ALONG THE STRETCH BETWEEN MY HOUSE & HWACHONG. im like the anomaly in the distance vs wake-time correlation graph. like

graph was anyhow fabricated/estimated based on anecdotal recounts. like how EMO lives far away but has a short bus route to school without jam, but still needs to wake up early to comb her hair thus the slightly earlier timing.

but i need a bike so yeah.
idk when mom's gonna get over my past recklessness on the bike and buy me a new one, but every time i see bikes chained to class benches my heart shatters like *piang

i want a bike ): like this gucci one:

haha anyway i shall stop ranting about wanting a bike, since it seems rather impossible for mom to change her mind.
i'll see if i can walk/briskwalk/jog/run to school instead.

look, i still don't have a bike now! wahahaha.
but this time i think i've convinced mom alr la. so will probably get one in a few weeks' time, if possible!

oh i wanted to review MW2 (which i finished within 1 day woots!) but i abit sian of it already. shall do that when i finish playing the two players co-op campaigns with lukey (in dec, mind you). loved the storyline & graphics btw!

cognitive dissonance

2011-10-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

life has been rather repetitive.

i don't like to blog about stuff i learn in school because they don't really interest me much. except for the occasionally intriguing chinese politics, the rest is just memorizing various theories and schools of thoughts, and then applying them in the assignments or term papers. class participation in political science kinda sucks too, when u realize there are damn a lot of zai kias studying pol science. and i thought an A in GP was sufficient. ha ha. there's just so much to learn.

and then it's the imbalance that i want to complain about. i really really have to sort this out before this goes on. hope i have the correct solution this time, because the previous few times i really had it all wrong.

anyway, i'm kinda tempted to join some school CCAs. before school started i actually made a list of CCAs i want to join. and now that i've been fully engulfed by the system that is Eusoff Hall, i kinda stopped thinking about the rovers club, shooting club and all the OCIP projects and how i so wanted to join. i rmb my ravings to my camp OGmates about how i die die must go on an OCIP trip by the end of this year. but now that: 1. i didn't get into expeditions and 2. i've missed all the deadlines for the school OCIP projects and 3. i have chingay, carolling and DP, they're kinda impossible already.

I actually posed this question to someone, 'what makes hall CCAs better than school CCAs' and the immediate response i got was 'nothing'. well. that coming from someone who've stayed in hall for 3 years is just depressing. said person then went on to suggest a plus point, that is people are more closely bonded when they stay in hall, but upon second thought he retracted his statement saying that it's just physical proximity; people in hall aren't that close to each other after all.

which makes it even more depressing.

when it becomes a concrete fact that you're a full-time Hall person and it's really too late to join any school CCAs, that's when u desperately start to justify ur hall stay. and the term i recently learnt applies. it's called 'cognitive dissonance'.

<!--
Fact 1: School CCAs seem more fun.
Fact 2: I'm already staying in hall and am dedicating all my time and effort to it.

So I tell myself that staying in hall is damn fun and the people are nice and it's damn close to school so I save on transport and I know lots of super awesome hall people and I get to participate in fun events like DP & Chingay and I get to learn singing and dancing on a daily basis.
-->

Cognitive dissonance is a discomfort caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance. They do this by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and actions. Dissonance is also reduced by justifying, blaming, and denying. - Wikipedia.

self improvement in progress

2011-10-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

finally got to learn butterfly!! YEAHH man *hums butterfly*

damn. the rag version is so nice i can't stop singing it despite all that innuendos in the lyrics'.

so here's the list of the things i'm learning:

1. hiphop dance

nic's dp item: absolutely adore this choreography. wait till i get the hang of acting GANGSTAH!!

chingay: omgomg it's BUTTERFLY!! hahha. can tell it's simplified, but the ending but-ter-fly steps still quite difficult! shall (prac)^3. oh and the new Yeah 3x is even more fun to dance than the old choreography imo!

i still want to go O sch open classes lehh ):

CY: i realized reggae steps not exactly easy yah. we can try 1 reggae OC if we die instantly then maybe can take course. hahaha.

2. contemp dance

dat's dp item: i STILL don't get the frigging spin haha. but other steps (esp those that require force) i think can do. abit scared of the costume. someone said: "u still eating supper?! aren't u in dat's item? wear very tight one leh!"

3. harmonizing

eng songs: i realized glee version of songs very nice to harmonize with. mainly because they already have ppl harmonizing the melodies HAHA i can just follow and learn.

chi songs: got very easy to harmonize meh? except 珊瑚海 and those duets the other songs like not very nice to harmonize leh. esp the minor songs.

my aim is to prac until mei and i can harmonize for each other. and when singing duets can harmonize for the guy's melody if needed. like that go K can pwn alr! hahaha. hmm but still got a long way ahead!

*runs off to find cheryl to sing together

4. acting

TS1101E is epic fail hahaha. i can't seem to write a good performance critique that's unbiased hahaha. and all the parts i get are statues, muscular guys etc. only time i thought i did well was when i directed.

5. singing
mainly CHINESE songs for K e.g. amei's, a-lin's and F.I.R songs. oh and duets. kaimin's starting to complain cos we everytime go k tgt he'll have to sing 千年之戀 with me hahaha. sorry lor the song's too nice alr! but i shall learn some new songs so that K doesn't ever get boring!! :DD

okay la enough with the spam of cultural activities. the stuff i do are getting so repetitive if i over-describe any of them there's no point in writing new posts already.

aim to join next year: a capella, band, elixer!!

RAWRR. and then move to B3.

then i can seriously die without regrets alr hahaha.

anger management

2011-10-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

this is crap. i totally lost my motivation for blogging.
what is this?!

whenever this happens i'll blog about life, and try to sound philosophical in my posts - which, in hindsight, never fails to make me go 'omg that was epic immature.' but oh wells who cares - it's 老娘's blog, so screw whoever disagrees with me.

hmm. weird that when i think 老娘 mom's face comes into mind. must be that she used the term too much already. omg i miss mom.

\\
of FB Games
one thing that has been bothering me. what's with ppl playing fb games? if you want to play just play the original games la, why settle for the simple coding and much less impressive graphics & animations within the fb frame! i really don't get it.

of Nic's item
may i comment that it looks freaking awesome up til now. i can tell that the steps has lots of underlying techniques so i still have loads to learn and improve on, but the song, concept, costume & choreographer are all absolutely awesome. yeap. i apologize for my lack of vocab but yeah. one word, AWESOME. super looking forward to the next prac. ((: im sure i'd have learnt damn a lot from nic by the end of DP!

of supper
looks like the freshman fifteen isn't just applicable to the states - if i keep on succumbing to my desire for supper every night i don't know what i'll turn into. right now my after school hours is like EAT-sing-dance-dance-EAT. notice how eat appears twice; and i don't think the dance helps a lot. so starting from yesterday i've decided that i shan't eat supper after 12pm. well, let's see how long i can last.

of photoshoot
the photos came back looking not bad! at least for the punk-rock look haha. freaking loved my hair please. i hope they give me assignments and then it's $$$ :D

of DP bash
it was last week, i think? yep last thursday. when twinnn cheryl and I turned up in green/teal/turquoise and realized that all the others didn't take the theme seriously. but who cares, i loved the green i was wearing <3
\\

oh whenever i get denied of something i think i deserve, i really SIBEH DULAN.

i finally realized that all my past achievements doesn't really matter anymore. you reach uni and you start on the same line as everyone else. which sucks because i actually thought all those leadership and CIP stuff MATTERS and i pia-ed so much for it.

turns out, it doesn't matter if you have chaired both an OCIP and a local CIP team before in JC. all that planning and HR management and decision-making don't matter at all. if you don't mix with the people, you just can't get onto the fucking OCIP team.

i think pia so much get into hwachong also not much use. everything achieved there doesn't mean shit now. all the emcee jobs i've auditioned for and gotten, all the committees i've chaired, all the publications i've been editor-in-chief for, ALL FOR FUCKING NOTHING. as if it was easy chairing anything in hwachong at all.

SMLJ.

then again, i need some anger management. if i keep on being angry at incompetent people, or myself for not being able to achieve stuff, i'm gonna end up a forever emo person.

hmm let's see. what makes me happy...

mini choir session tmr with friends! (:
new dance shoes & sweatpants! :D
awesome chingay & DP choreographies! >:)
light orange, bright yellow and grassy green stuff! <3

and... K SESSION THIS SUNDAY!! :DDDD

dancing it away

2011-10-02T04:44:00.000-07:00

went for terence's class yesterday.

it was full of bounces again :/ my knees were still hurting from last week's bounces (nic plus terence on consecutive days = not good), so this week it's added on. oh plus the black & blue i got from dat's rolling choreo. i shld seriously stop sitting down knee-first.

but i kinda love it that i get to dance so frequently nowadays (:

oh for terence the choreo which we're supposed to showcase is actually kinda fun. but too bad i have choir on the showcase day so. gotta say good luck to the rest! :D oh and next week cos got mdis soundcheck so im gonna have to prac the tricky body wave thing on my own alr. jiayou twinnn!

after the lesson it was me, yihong & twin shopping for green clothes tgt. i was looking at this damn cute green & black top that was kinda my style, but hong was like 'it's nice, but that's not what you wear to clubbing' in a super lao jiao manner. she proceeded to hand me a see-through green top and said 'make sure you wear a black bra inside.' seriously hong! hahahaha.

then i was half-torn between going drinking with hong or going to sing K with the guys. u know, singing K is something that i absolutely cannot resist. but then hong made me an equally tempting promise about the club she was bringing me to, so i decided to go take a look.

somehow she knew the owner of the awesome club so we got free drinks all the way & got to see a whole lot of freakishly tall models. all the girls there were damn chio.. many cute guys ard too. then we went club-hopping abit. i really didn't know there were soooo many clubs ard the clarke quay area.

din know we were going clubbing so despite my best efforts of transforming my dancewear into clubwear i still looked a tad underage. to the point that i was almost denied entry into shanghai dolly. next time must really wear nicer clothes, more makeup & damn high heels.

ain't gonna be easy finding another day like this though. esp when i look at my google calendar. packed with many many different colours.

hectic week ahead.

looks like it won't be hard keeping myself busy though.

petty rant.

2011-09-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

of ability:
if you're not good at something, u gotta improve yourself. no point whining about it. no one gives a damn how inept you are at something, unless it bothers others. in which case u'll be kicked out of the way and be stepped on. sometimes ppl won't even step on you. you'll just be ignored, incredibly sadly, like little stones lining the pavement.

if you're good at something, all the more u must improve yourself. so that u can eventually attain an insurpassable, indisputable godlike position that entitles u to continue reaping all the benefits without having to do much. if u can't reach that far, simply attaining that in a small community will do. the benefits are still pretty enjoyable.

of looks:
if you're not goodlooking, do spend some time to make yourself at least presentable. if you give up on yourself, u'll just cause general disgust and ppl will shun away from you.
side note: if u did put in effort but ur sense of taste isn't rly good... ah well, best of luck to u.

if you're okay looking, pls do something cool to your hair, wear contacts/braces/accessories that will enhance your look so that at least on first look u'll give the impression to ppl that you're goodlooking.

if you're in the upper tier of okay looking, same thing applies but u shld definitely be more confident of yourself. hiding urself away behind specs/long fringes is only gonna give the first impression that u're ugly and have low self esteem, when u're actually not bad looking.

if you're really goodlooking, it's a moral obligation that u keep urself really goodlooking. we like it when we see someone who's beautiful. but if the beautiful girl grows fat it does kinda disappoint.

i thought all these were understood-ed.
anw, enough childish, selfish & incoherent rants.
there's so much more i need to do to improve myself.

shopping. bouncing. singing. dancing.

2011-09-04T16:27:00.000-07:00

i hate whining about my life.
but that's what a blog is for, so screw that.

I BOUGHT DAMN A LOT OF STUFF AT H&M!!! still damn happy about it hahaha. bought so many cool stuff for such cheap prices! i'm a happy girl when i shop. esp with my lovely TWINNN!! <3

haul for the day. damn colourful & awesome right!! <3

sorry for the fb photo spam though. bet you're tired of seeing my face already. ahahaha.
and i spent damn alot in one day. oh including the 90 bucks for my brand new Altec Lansing expressionist Plus speakers!! :D freaking awesome can. i was blasting rock band songs like nobody's business ytd night hahaha.

wrt terence's class on sat, it was.. uhm. bounces again. last week we did down bounces. this week we did up bounce and forward bounce. LOL. next week im gonna have to miss the backwards bounce which is supposedly HARD omfg how now brown cow!!!

okay i seriously don't care. i want to go for open classes. i don't want to limit my weekly dance activities to freaking bounces!! even if it's terence teaching. from the mirror i can see that it's always me and twinnn who look exactly the same as terence for every movement. the rest are really really beginners. so the pace is like shit.

i know the importance of having good foundation in dance. like being able to execute the basic movements correctly. BUT i really don't see the point of spending 120 bucks learning how to do bounces. which, in every lesson, once the instructor tells us what to do we're able to do faultlessly while he corrects the rest of the class one by one. it's so lame la.

it feels damn shiok to be in a class of ppl who're good at dancing. that way you can push yourself to your max and pick up steps at a pace u can't believe u're able to reach. like the BEAST's Fiction class i went to with twinnn. it's like how shiok can, when everyone are able to do the steps after learning for a few minutes! not one person lagging behind.

i kinda want to read the lines fr the drama audition script aloud, but my roommate is sleeping. well i should be too cos it's 6am in the morning.

anyways, why does the character sound so damaged? and so many ambiguous lines with numerous ways of interpretation. in any case though, i don't think i'm suitable for any of the characters. if i wrote the script i wouldn't choose me. which reminds me of huangcheng auditions! a path not taken.

so maybe next year for drama! shall just focus on dance this year. (: and if possible, choir DP performance too haha. so intriguing that they have a need for the choir!

Day 9: 10 Favourite Bands or Artists
SHINee, 2NE1, BIGBANG;
F.I.R, Shin, Mayday;
Duffy, Lily Allen, P!nk, Rihanna.

im in the mood for blasting music by my fave bands and singing loudly along, but then again IT'S 6AM IN THE MORNING and my roommate is sleeping. ah screw my double room. I FREAKING HATE IT. please let me transfer to B2 or B3 next sem PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE -

choir welcome tea was fun. i realized i know quite a few people in choir, and that's good! shall try out for junior section leader. oh forgot to mention. i was completely puzzled as to why i'm in alto! i thought i'd be in sop. then again, i think my falsetto sucks so maybe that's why. dk if im good enough to be junior SL anw! but i'll not give up without trying! haha.
oh and i want to scream already. WHY DO I SEE HER EVERYWHERE?! omfg.
and regarding the unsolvable problem, i really don't know how. ):

long day ahead. need to travel back to JB after breakfast, and try to return to hall in time for DP dance auditions at 8pm later. keeping fingers crossed abt evening checkpoint traffic.

super looking forward to dance camp!

half good in something? nah, no such thing.

2011-09-02T16:13:00.001-07:00

lists first.

Day 7: 10 Of Your Favourite People (no particular order)
this overlaps with the previous list! so skip.

Day 8: 10 Things You're Ashamed Of
hahaha must i really do this!
1. my inner bimbo.
2. ability to sleep for 20 hours straight & wake up still feeling sleepy.
3. my stash of barbie dolls! omg haha.
4. having a soft spot for cute guys. aww.
5. tendency to spend too much time designing/customizing stuff.
6. don't have enough kinetic talent to excel in the field.. :/
7. my game/drama addiction!
8. fact that i tear easily.
9. love for food. junk food.
10. my relative lack of achievements/prominence during certain periods of time.

i realized that i really have a super wide range of interests, and for every field i'm interested in i'd have invested a considerable amount of time exploring about. and the things i'm passionate about would change from time to time. really hope to be able to excel in some new fields though. really haven't achieved anything since sec school.

the second-place curse. pathetic.

>> like my 388/400 for shooting. good enough to represent the school, to get a perfect 100/100 set, to have my own suit & boots & feinwerkbau. but not top on the list.

>> like my grade 6 in piano. can say i have music background, could've achieved so much more if the examiners & my piano teacher were right. but i gave up halfway. all my half-composed songs/scoresheets are still lying on top of my beautiful red wood piano.

>> like my design. was given the chance to design t-shirts, book covers, blogskins, banners, logos.. but essentially just a freelancer with a few digital designs under my belt. could've spent a bit more time and completed my oil paintings, realized my ideas for a comic series or come up with a masterpiece. like in the sims. but not enough determination.

>> like my writing. so many half-completed novels and stories in my comp. so many brilliant ideas i came across but can't be bothered to write down. if i took some time to furnish some of my writings and publish them i could already be earning royalties by now.

i could go on. there are so many abandoned projects and ideas. and i truly hate myself for that. just a little bit more time & effort, and there's a definite chance that i'm already famous & rich by this age. pianist, olympics shooter, professional designer, published author, singer, dancer, model, actress. none of which sounds impossibly out of reach. and each of which once part of my dreams, at various stages in the 19 years of my life.

i know it's like that for many other people too. those who are rich and famous are simply those who've taken a few more steps in their endeavors in a certain field. as long as you excel in one field, you're valued and worthy of attention. but for a jack of all trades and master of none, you're just another human being. the amounts of time and effort you've spent in the various different fields, if you haven't produced anything substantial or quantifiable or observable, are essentially wasted. nullified.

i wish i was home schooled. raised in the middle east. have a mafia boss as my dad. so that i wouldn't have been exposed to so many different stuff. and i'd have such unique experiences.

right now i just wish i'm backpacking in a foreign exotic land.

friendship & commitment

2011-09-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

Day 5: 10 Things About Your Friends
1. Twinnn aka chenyi: bestie forever. we're so very much alike it's scary sometimes haha. she's really like my twin. i can't rmb how we ended up in the same clique in JC, but she's made my JC life so much more enjoyable - as we talk about guys, bitch about girls, pon stuff & organize self-initiated-mugging-sessions (SIMS) together. she introduced me to dance, and i'm eternally grateful for it. and recently i realized we never run out of topics to talk about haha. love her with all my heart! :D
2. Yihong: the walking remnant of my fangirl days - every time i talk to her it's gonna be about some guy or some idol. shared lots of crazy memorable times tgt! we've been through so much, too. admire her courage to be loud/AA and her will to fight for her own rights. she's like a pretty & bimbotic sister to me - and the love-hate relationship goes on (:
3. Yiling + XY's clique: my lovely CLL friends! perhaps the purest and cutest group of girls i'll ever met. love hanging out with them.
4. LEP Council gang: most awesome group of people i've known. let's venture out and own the chinese field man. esp LOVE zijing & sansan. 闺蜜s ftw!!
5. my geeky girl friends. one's in stanford and the other in berkeley, both studying engineering. i shall miss them alot alot in these few years. hopefully we can realize our billion-dollar ideas in the future to come.

i don't feel like completing this list cos it's kinda lame to categorize and describe my various groups of friends. for me there's a very clear line between acquaintances and friends. since i've joined so many different things in both JC and uni i've got to know a lot of different people, but there aren't many i've decided to really befriend. i've alr given up on some of my camp OGs, mainly because it takes time and effort, sometimes even money (gifts) to maintain friendships. i only hang out with ppl i like to talk to.

and say should any one of them call me up for help burying a dead body, i'll immediately rush over to help. no questions asked.

there are also new additions - my fellow rag dancers. yuting cheryl, all the wonderful msian seniors plus the year 4s. the E block girls too, are a cool bunch. but all these are ongoing, and whether we will become close friends only time will tell.

AND twin wrote another post!! i'm SO gonna quote her hahaha.
firstly to address her MJ auditions:

our audition choreo was twin's open class choreo for blast.

omg wts really?! he used Glad You Came by The Wanted is it! hahaha so amusing. you should totally have went for your open class man! then we could've exchanged tips and aced our respective auditions!! okay no la kidding. either way, the auditions are over alr so no point thinking about it! don't even have to find out when the results are gonna be released haha. meanwhile let's just learn at O School! i want to go for alot alot of open classes!! (:

and secondly the part that cracked me up:

anw twin's blog got this para about Aquarius which is really true.
haha but some parts are quite funny lol!
"Her trust arises from the fact that before committing,
she had dissected your behavior under a microscope."
HAHA! imagine twin dissecting Luke's behavior under a microscope beforehand.
totally burst out into laughter at the 'sight' of that! LOL!
really. literally imagine it and you will know what i mean!
but but its really quite true. i agreed to most of it.
so Mr Phang you know what to expect!
and twin stop quoting stuff from my blog else i will sue you for copyright!

yay @dori_lukey you have a direct mention by name now! and twinnn has helped justify my reading assignment! and lol twinnn you can't sue me cos 'that would be the very definition of a frivolous lawsuit'! btw what's amusing was twinnn's coining of the term 'Mr CT'S-BOYFRIEND'. hahahaha.

okay enough silly girl talk. time for some life updates.

went for CCA fair just now.

decided that i shall continue doing design and join EusoffWorks Design. i went there empty-handed, but i think they need ppl who can do digital design ie. illustrator & photoshop (instead of traditional paper-based medium), which is what i've always been doing, plus when i said i could do html coding i think their eyes immediately lit up. a little worried though haha. what if there are too many assignments! i have the tendency to rush design assignments through the night. so i guess it means lots of sleepless nights ahead!! but then, it's something i enjoy doing. so i don't really mind.

signed up for expedition, EHOC programmes & chingay! (: oh CEMC too but still abit unsure about it. anyway i realized that i've already kinda maxed out my cultural activities points. say one event/membership = 8 points, i now have:

Rag Dance + Chingay + Eusoff Dance + Eusoff Choir + Dance Production ie. 40 points!

so i guess i'll be following the footsteps of the msian seniors and focus my hall endeavors in the cultural aspect. next year i shall audition for band/elixer/drama or something. haha.

and seeing the no. of ppl queueing for expedition interview i doubt i'll be shortlisted, unless they are looking for ppl with OCIP experience. so if I don't get expedition i shall do EHOC. then again, EHOC points are for next year so i guess i'll still join CEMC? see if my EW points are enough. if it's 16 points then i'll have ~56 points.. ah the point system is so confusing. should i join netball too?

one thing's for sure though, i've never thought about moving out of eusoff hall ever since moving in. it's like my home now.

I HEART EUSOFF <3

oh next sat there's eusoff dance camp and the TS fear of writing show and terence's class and MAF ): howhowhow?! so screwed why does everything has to be on saturday. ah. looking forward to choir and dance though! (:

rooting is taking damn long

2011-08-31T13:25:00.000-07:00

so i shall blog!

Day 5: 10 Things About Your Family

1. Dad sells birds' nest. but I seldom get to eat it cos it's too mafan to cook.

2. Mom is a very strong & independent woman. really love & admire her a lot.

3. Mei's 3 years younger than I am but a whole lot more mature. we go to each other for advice, and share our deepest darkest thoughts. which is bad sometimes.

4. Mommy's my ganma & aunt whom I love very very much. she's forever glam. admire her a lot too.

5. Gor's mommy's son ie. my cousin but I love him so much he's my beloved gor (: he was the one who introduced me to the world of gaming, pokemon cards, serial dramas and stuff. hahaha.

6. okay I ran out of family members to talk about. so back to Dad. people say I take after him in terms of appearance. oh and height.

7. Mom taught me damn a lot of stuff. I feel bad for upsetting her with my rebellious attitude. she's actually means the world to me.

8. Mei's character is the complete opposite of mine. so when we discuss stuff we usually go super deep with opposing perspectives. which always makes us learn a lot about ourselves, and each other.

9. I'm the eldest child!

10. There's this person i really dislike too much to regard as part of my family, and if given a choice I wouldn't want her to be in my family too, since I didn't learn anything from her at all, and her presence itself only causes stress and discomfort to me. and I really don't like to accommodate people whose personality and ways in life are such that I strongly disagree with.

so yep that's all for today's list!

oh and, @dori_lukey... :/ why does everything seem to be compressed into this short period of time. anw i guess a relationship isn't something you can chart the path or plan for. things that happen to others may not be applicable since we're both so unique in terms of thinking. life is all about having fun, so why worry so much about things in the distant future! i don't care about anything else as long as we like each other. and i really don't like this feeling. it feels so wrong! ):

anw, i've rooted my phone and cos of the freaking signature verification problem i have to install the modded 3e recovery mode. now i'm like doing my TS tutorial while the batch script runs. and it's giving me the freaking timeout error every few minutes. i'm really starting to hate the android system.

on the bright side though, my phone's no longer laggy. if i manage to install the custom rom in the end, i swear i'm gonna customize it like siao. just like what i did to my jailbroken ipad. (: too bad i had to return it in the end.

some updates about my classes.

my PS1101E tutor is damn young and pretty! she's apparently a PhD student from the US, and younger than one of the guys in class somemore! so zai right. i also want do a lot with my life while i'm young, starting from the day i turn twenty which is in next Feb. wish me luck! (:

and TS practical today was damn fun. we were split into groups and given scripts with ~18 scenes. for every scene it's a freeze frame of ongoing events. had lots of fun playing the brick house pig, the straw/wood & the fire haha. i realized got quite a number of potential actresses in my class! like joyce, the goldilock girl etc. i'm like scouting for potential groupmates for the finals play alr! hahaha.

omg just how long is the shell rooting gonna take?! D:

yum yum.

2011-08-31T05:59:00.000-07:00

angry!! comp so cui already still dota so much.

Day 4: 10 Of Your Favourite Foods

1. Exquisite high-class desserts!!

2. Unagi/Katsu Curry/Oyako Don & soft shell crab maki!!

3. 水塘路 Laksa!!!! this I cannot resist.

4. Foie gras!! omg.

5. Caesar salad / mushroom soup / clam chowder w croutons

6. Black pepper/ salted egg crab

7. 港一's Fried durian & 小鹿排!!! omgomg.

8. Fish & co. best fish & chips.

9. Bread toasted w kaya/butter + tehpeng

10. 烤乳鸽/北京烤鸭 (:

omg can you pls look at the list. if I eat everything within one day I might just die of stroke or something. such a high cholesterol/fat list. but still, what's life without a little indulgence? (:

p.s. treat me to any of these and i'll love you foreverrr. okay except number 9 it's too easy alr haha.

back in my own room

2011-08-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

there's so little privacy here that i really can't say anything i want to.

it's funny though, how i'm unable to talk about it at all.

so here goes Day 2.

Day 2: 10 Things You Do Every Single Day

1. Sleep at some very odd timing.

2. Check fb, gmail & twitter.

3. Look at myself in the mirror.

4. Wear fbts and slippers.

5. Check my phone/Google calendar for events happening that day.

6. Text twinnn and/or lukey.

7. Nua in bed.

8. Watch a show/ play a short game to entertain myself.

9. Make a spontaneous decision to do something.

10. Act cool.

that was completely uninteresting and uninformative. shall add the third one:

Day 3: 10 Things About Your Personality
1. It's hard to convince me ie. i'm stubborn! if I don't believe in something, you can't make me.
2. I'm fun-loving. parties, drinking, games & jokes, etc.
3. Super open-minded. I can accept a lot of stuff people can't accept, though that doesn't necessarily mean I'll be happy accommodating them.
4. Spontaneous. I make decisions on impulse and do random crazy stuff.
5. It takes time for me to warm up to people. once I start sharing my crazy thoughts and beliefs with you & laugh damn loudly that's when I'm starting to treat you like family.
6. I enjoy freedom. no, it's more like a need.
7. Unpredictable? I don't understand how my mind works either.
8. I like to have complete control over my own life.
9. I'm kinda hidden beneath two layers of disguise. first, my face; and second, my strong front.
10. I absolutely hate it when people lie to me. I don't judge; I'm ready for any shocking facts, so why not be honest with me?

alright, that felt much better.
and here's an interesting quote from twinnn's blog:

maybe cos we are DAMN alike and we tell each other everything (almost i think)?
haha we are alike EXCEPT for our taste in guys! heh.
our taste is really... quite different i guess.
haha so sorry to Mr CT'S-BOYFRIEND.

hahahaha. i was super amused can. @dori_lukey here's another indirect mention for you! i like you alot anyways so no worries (:

oh lastly, @dori_lukey i don't care if you think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy or what, this freaking describes me better than i did. so for the module code CT1101E: Introduction to Cherntze's Personality, here's your reading for the week:

Inconsistency and confusion describe the characteristics profile of an Aquarius female. The same goes for her love life too. She is very loyal, but at the same time, she is also a little detached and not extremely emotional. She will be committed and remain faithful too, but do not try to bind her. Let her enjoy her freedom and in return, she will come back to you when she gets tired of her expeditions. Her dreams are very different from that of a normal female and she hums a different tune, which most of us have not even heard of.

An Aquarian female is like a butterfly, which sits on every flower, but belongs to none. She loves her freedom and if you can accept this, she will love you even more. Within her boundless limits, her love will also be limitless. Position and power matter to her more than money and bank balance. If you want her to fall in love with you, be true and honest, not only to others, but also to yourself. You don't need to follow her rules. You can form your own code of ethics, but be sure to live by them.

Passion is not one of the personality traits of Aquarian girl. Rather, her love will be subtle and unassuming. She is intense, but may prefer to be platonic most of the time. Hosting as well as attending parties comes naturally to her and she will always be a social delight. She will trust you completely and will not be unduly suspicious of your activities. You will also not be bothered by too much jealousy or possessiveness on her part. Her trust arises from the fact that before committing, she had dissected your behavior under a microscope.

Only after being convinced of your integrity did she take the next step. Still, if you become unfaithful to her, she will be extremely hurt and is likely to remember the wound for a long time. With an Aquarian female, out of sight means out of mind too. So, make sure to be around here always. She has a very strong will power. If she thinks the relationship is not working and has no chances of improving also, she will break it right away; though doing so may tear her heart into two pieces. Like every Aquarian, she will remember her first love throughout her life.

It's no use getting upset, better be the first love in her life. She will never ever be dishonest in a relationship and even if she indulges in an extra-marital affair, it will end before it even started. She will always try to know your deepest thoughts and secrets, but her own dreams will be beyond your reach. Conversing with an Aquarian female is usually a delight because of her charming manners. Her mind is quite unpredictable and you will find it hard keeping track. She will live in the present, then suddenly be wistful about yesterday and then, become enthusiastic about tomorrow.

She may talk about fairies one day and discard elves as humbug, the other. Never look down on her or she might never look upto you. She respects you and will expect the same in return. As mothers, Aquarian women tend to be very loving and caring. Though in the beginning, they may be a little nervous about the whole idea of motherhood. But once they become comfortable with it, it will come to them naturally. An Aquarius female may find it difficult to express her love in the form of hugs and kisses and you will have to teach her that. She will never overburden the kids with protection.

At the same time, she will always be a patient listener to their childhood and adolescent problems. Teaching them discipline will also be your responsibility. However, for all this to happen you will have to convince her to get married and this certainly isn't an easy job. You will also have to teach her romance, since expressing emotions does not come too easily to her. She will happily hold your hand and walk besides you, but don't expect her to gaze into your eyes for hours at a stretch.

Don't smother your Aquarian girl with too much closeness, she needs her space and will give you, yours too. Things like suspicion, possessiveness, chauvinism and criticism turn her off. Just be nice to her odd bunch of friends and she will warmly welcome yours into the house. Make use of her intuition and insight, it may help you in solving a problem or two. It may seem like wishful thinking now, but then, remember she looks in the future. Hold her hand and she will let you see the future too, where both of you are cozily living together.

thanks for reading. XOXO! (:

start of something new

2011-08-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

im not happy!
firstly because someone's sleeping when i'm wide awake, and secondly because the weather's so freaking awesome for sleeping and i'm wide awake. so unfair.

it's a long weekend since i have mondays off, but i've already completed my readings so i thought i should blog. but im totally out of inspiration!! >:( i guess there's only so much inspiration for blogging in the same space and some frequent blogger is sucking it all up. hmph. haha okay i shall stop complaining abt luke behind his back. which is true literally btw.

which reminds me, i rmb when i first entered JC i was already thinking 'omg why do ppl still play dota in JC?!' and now... well i don't know what to say. as jason puts it, there are lots of '20+ years old kids' around. not to say that the concept itself isn't cute, but when i have to wait for creeps to slowly reach the frozen throne/world tree round after round, with occasional fatal errors calling for remakes, it's pretty damn sian. then again, maybe i'm biased after watching so many rounds of dota.

i tend to do cheesy stuff out of boredom. i used to hate these kind of stuff cos i thought one should blog only when there's sth to rant/bitch/complain about. but things have changed. so here you go.

DAY 1: 10 THINGS ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE

1. Clothes: used to love the punk-rock style & bought damn a lot of black chain-y & skull-ish accessories. nowadays i just dress like a normal girl.
2. Face: like my eyes esp lower lashes.
3. Hair: dyed it orange two years ago but it turned out to be too-orange-for-school so i dyed it black the next day. ever since then it's kinda off-black. gonna dye it some outrageous colour soon.
4. Height: my dad's side has the tall genes and i was growing tall so fast everyone thought i was gonna hit model height. alas my sec sch life was so hedonistic my height plateaued at some 165cm. then again i think i'm tall enough. so no complaints here.
5. Smile: oh i have dimples!
6. Piercings/Tattoos: none, & never will have. don't want to mutilate my body.
7. Toenails: painted ORANGE at the moment (:
8. Collarbone: love it.
9. Face shape: ppl keep saying my chin is too sharp.
10. Figure: I'm okay with it. plan to dance till I get a killer bod. okay kidding.

I can almost hear the 'perasan!!' already. so i'm gonna give in to temptation & run over to eat someone up. pardon me.

you know you love me;
XOXO.

theories

2011-08-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

kinda relieved that my blog is not so high profile (unlike someone's!) and that i can still blog to my heart's content.

the way i see it, if u like someone u can't just sit there and wait for something to happen. that's why i've decided to grab that half-extended hand and offer my smile. well, i suppose girls don't usually do that. but i really couldn't care less for mind games & wasting time wondering if the other person likes you back.

if u like someone but u're too scared to make a move, may i say that cowardice would be one of the traits that weighs u down in the eligibility ladder. nonchalance too. smart girls aren't interested in guys who act cool.

and now i know what's my worst mistake of the year. i absolutely hate conforming to invisible boxes / play areas, and i only abide by the rules i concur with. but. who knew our tastes were so similar?

on a side note, i realized news don't travel fast in hall.. they sort of shoot up to the sky, explode into a dazzling myriad of colorful copies, fly back down & go right into the brains of other hall residents. that's probably why certain ppl point upwards & insist they got all the latest gossips from 'God'. good for the christians then cos 'God' is certainly in EH.

studies-wise, i'm having serious difficulties mugging the friggin' Field of Drama. i've been chewing on it since last week, trying my best to ingest all the technical terms, BUT i guess my brain just couldn't register the fact that DRAMA CAN ALSO GET SO BORING. omfg it's a nightmare. guess i'll just have to live with it though. luke's cognitive psych textbook is much more mindfucking than mine.

and why would anyone think that im very banana?! no no im a uber cheena person and super proud of it. i love chinese writing & all my greatest accomplishments are in that field. even though i think my asian values have kinda depleted.. having lived in sg for so many years and exposed to such an excess of american culture. so i have a set of firm beliefs on my own. it's somewhere in between i guess.

oh on a random note. i actually got ask mom before like '妈你为什么帮我取这个名字' and she would go 'orh 因为怀你的时候喝很多橙汁 mah 哈哈' and i'd feel like punching her. lame woman. then again, i'm grateful to her for giving me such a unique name. at least up till now i haven't found another person whose name sounds like orange juice yet.

wrt living life

2011-08-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

Nov 23, 2009 [Archive]
hey. open up!

IF you think you're fake,
and the real you is hidden beneath layers of disguise.

IF what you show everyone, everyday
is that piece of skin you stole from someone else,
full of hidden needles that'll hurt ppl who get close to you,
that you use as a disguise to hide ur true and harmless self;;

IF your real emotions are not what you show on ur face,
and it's because you want to seem unpredictable, mysterious,
or because you don't want to invest your real emotions
lest they get hurt by others;;

IF you want to be the one hurting everyone
so that you can be protected from harm
and curl up in a ball whenever someone comes closer
to see you for what you really are;;

and IF you are always watching from afar,
like a spectator.

learn to tell the truth and share the secret.
no matter how hard it is.
when there's a listener,
who gives sincere feedback without judgement,
everything's gonna be fine.

you have full view of the map
you see a noob guy sneaking up on a pro
if you were playing you could easily snipe both guys from afar.
the view was perfect.

but you can only watch as the pro kills off the noob,
and well, of course he gets all the glory.

oh and -
they don't even know you were there on the scene.

you can be a spectator for your whole life
and at the end of it you'll realize that
you haven't lived a life at all.

Jan 6, 2010 [Archive]
you enter JC, orientation zooms past like a dream, you start getting yourself into countless random committees, you tank everything while everyone else slack, blocks and lecture tests come & go like nobody's business, you organize damn alot of random shit, you go for OCIP, you do research, you struggle in your studies, suddenly A levels come, then you graduate.

wrt plastic surgery

2011-08-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

was reading my old blog and realized that some of the posts are actually kinda cool. i had so much time to think about stuff in JC. shall re-post some of them here.

June 27, 2009 [Archive]

god or whoever created human has always been fair.
there are some people who are blessed with both looks and brains.
some with extra talents as well.
but the talents generally come from hard work.
and perhaps if you look beyond the looks and brains
the person may not have a kind heart.
or maybe he or she has some other hidden bad qualities, who knows.

most famous writers or scientists generally have damn sad backgrounds.
like dead parents or social rejection and stuff like that.
if you wanna be famous it's there have to be sacrifices.

on the other hand.
i dun think skincare or eating good will have much impact on looks.
except that maybe if you starve too much u won't look as healthy.
i think bird nest also not much use, unlike what some actresses say.
my dad sells it so i get to eat them since i was young, but too bad no diff haha.

i think the effects of plastic surgery extends beyond the improved looks.
if you know what i mean.

finally. no one can ever deny that looks is not important.
cos if that's so, try uninstalling all the mirrors at home and go to sch without combing your hair. you will then be able to see for yourself the significance of looks in the eyes of fellow human beings.

i think yihong may clap for my post.
even though i think it's all been said before.

"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner

"One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting, or 'fat recycling' wherein fat cells are removed from one part of your body that is too large, such as your buttocks, and injected into your lips; people will then be literally kissing ass." - Dave Barry

audition

2011-08-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

yesterday was such an eventful day! (:

firstly. i realized that i can't stop k-ing once i start! it's really an addiction man. haha. no time limit = i can really k non-stop 24 hours! until my voice dies or sth. haha.

not even gonna talk about the choir audition, the singing part was plain horrific cos of my voice! it sounded so super strenuous. so imma say bye to whichever group that requires solo singing alr. and it's been so damn long since my piano grade 6 practical exam which was like in... P5?! omg. and i guess i really need some vocal training to strengthen my voice for future k sessions!

then.. skip cos i don't wanna talk about it here.

and i shall be a guai girl for now and wait for the decisions!

i need some serious htht.

2011-08-15T05:19:00.001-07:00

i realized that for every phase of my life girl politics have been kinda inevitable. maybe it's cos i've been in all kinds of leadership positions before, and there'll always be this other girl competing with me. she'd be smart and pretty.. well sometimes not, but definitely cunning, manipulative and has some power acting skills.

fb drama.

such a pain in the ass.

in front of girl friends i like to hang out with i'm usually completely honest about my opinions and stuff. i'd crack mean jokes, reveal my vain / lustful / crazy self, bitch about girls who piss me off and then compare our eye candies. both IRL & kpop.

if u're not someone i deem close enough i'll just keep all my opinions to myself. so if i don't do all that with u, it's probably cos i haven't warmed up to you yet.

i love being honest & straightfoward. and the feeling of not being able to say what i want to & having to hold everything in, right now, is really freaking me out.

HELP-

DANCE x SCHOOL

2011-08-13T07:23:00.001-07:00

omg DANCE!! ♥

now that i think about it, most of my besties are dancers. like yihong's a modern dancer, chenyi is into k hiphop and so on, plus recently cos i hang out with the rag dancers so much i think it's really getting to me.

im actually thankful that chenyi dragged me for my first k hiphop open class, in which they used the song i was absolutely in love with!

her whisper is the lucifer;

and not too long after i joined rag dance cos i thought it'd be fun. and it turns out to be truer than ever! loved it and really enjoyed myself (:

i like learning a full choreo. i like practising the same dance steps over and over again so i can eventually perfect it. so open classes don't really appeal to me much. i'd prefer the mtv classes esp when i love the song.

but today i went for my first open class at o school and i actually kinda loved it haha. even though the warm up was damn hiong and my butt/thigh's now aching cos of all the leg twisting in the choreo, i still enjoyed myself in the lesson. really happy that i was able to follow the choreo and execute the steps correctly - i was expecting it to be much harder to follow! (: must thank twin too cos she's also quite good so got the peer pressure to push myself harder :p

WASSUP YO! the song is still stuck in my head! so nice to dance to.

i think for now i still lack is the feel/attitude. need to work on it. maybe if i go for more classes it'd get better? haha. oh after the open class i was so happy that i immediately signed up for the hiphop course. which is also taught by terence i think! i kinda like his style anws. cos i can do the fast-slow thing! :D but must really prac the leg twisting ah.

okay enough about dance. i think i didn't really blog about the past few days after rag? so here goes.

first lecture i attended was the TS1101E one, on thurs morning. i only slept for ard 3 hours before waking up for the lecture, but the ultra-beng lecturer managed to keep me amused and awake for the whole of the lecture, with his frequent usage of hokkien & video clips which are actually interesting. so no prob w the lectures. what im worried about is the practical lesson, which i presume is gonna involve a lot of impromptu acting! i think i can do method acting, but i can't really do the super exaggerated and theatrical type of acting, ie. the movie kind but not the theatre kind. see how.

i don't really wanna recount how i kicked on a kerb accidentally and almost broke my toe - damn horrifying experience. so skip.

then on friday i went for my first PS2248 lecture? the whole classroom was filled with experienced-looking year 2s and several angmoh faces. the entire atmosphere was really different from that of the level 1 mods, and the lecturer just jumped right into the content. oh the prof is from china, the things he teach are about china, but he has to teach in english -.- so stupid right. i had to mentally translate all the english terms back to chinese. then came the scary part - the seniors started asking questions that i could understand but im dead sure i won't be able to phrase so cheemly. i didn't know there were singaporeans who're so interested in/ familiar with chinese politics man. with all those seniors around, i think i really can't count on my class participation for this mod alr. best of luck to me.

something i've definitely gotta learn.

after that i ate lunch with yihong & shiyu! yihong dress until damn AA & still complain that ppl don't look at her enough! gotta tell her that if u're pretty ppl will definitely be stealing glances at you one so don't worry. but i think she alr knows that. maybe she was secretly basking in the joy of it but just commented otherwise. hahaha.

then came the genes & soc lecture. the content was SO FREAKING BORING omg. the lecturer was kinda lame-enthu, but everything covered before in A level alr!! i think i can happily skip the lectures for the following few weeks liao. if not i'll just go there and mug my PS notes haha. it's 2 freaking hours. about halfway through i was struggling to keep myself awake alr. it was so bad that i had to play brainless games like fruit slice and yooninja on my phone.

okay enough about school. next up: POST RAG DINNER.

i think there's this general segregation between raggers & rag dancers, except for a few individuals. but it's okay i'll eventually get to know the ppl i actually need to know. (: ate subway, drank root beer and played a bit of four kings. i felt kinda guilty during the game that i actually added a bit of liquor to my cup. after all the crazy drinking games we went back to B lounge to htht & play mafia!

i don't even want to comment on the mafia game anymore! damn suay haha. then came the 'truth or truth' session. i think i was so honest when answering the questions i scared even myself. but at least i got it out of my chest.

and of course i won't tell u!

RAG? RAG? RAG RAG RAG RAG -

2011-08-10T13:33:00.001-07:00

rag is over?!

the nagging feeling that there's rag dance prac tmr keeps hovering in the background. yeah it feels quite surreal. i can't believe that just yesterday we gave the performance that we've been working towards for a few months. we were nervous but excited, we gave our retarded smiles, and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly :D

the audience's clearly audible 'wow~' during yeah3x & the VIP's lit up faces are still etched in my mind!

- TSE that you rather just deny.

soon after our performance we got news that we were chosen for chingay. we cheered, we camwhored, and we hugged each other (:

i was so elated after the performance i didn't feel like clearing off the makeup!! also partly cos i didn't want it to end.. :( to me it meant i won't be seeing some of the seniors again, cos some have alr graduated, some are not in the same fac as me, some aren't in EH etc etc. as for the EH seniors, i'd have one less excuse to hang with them. so somehow it got to me, and i wanted the moment to last forever! if only there was another rag performance!!

deng deng deng deng deng deng deng~ TAK

anw after dinner we came back and chilled till 4am. eusoffians & temasekians playing games together! even though i think got yellow slippers outside the lounge. wrt the mafia game, i rly dk why i always kena the ace card. i act until sian alr! but next time must play again.

in the end, it's really the ppl who matter. (:

* * *

i think i've really improved alot through rag dance. i learnt a lot about tension, control & angles through learning wilfred & xianyou's choreo.

and it was really fate that brought me to where i am right now.

firstly, if i hadn't went for arts rag dance, i wouldn't even have found out about hall rag dance.

secondly, if shichen hadn't told me honestly that hall rag's more fun, i wouldn't have switched to EH rag.

and thirdly, if i hadn't decided to come down to EH to find out more about it, i wouldn't have found alston and subsequently wilfred with a surprised look in the dance studio! i really didn't know he was one of the choreos. so i was shocked as well.

and after that came the learning of the steps. i was told to join Toy, when i still had no clue what was going on. so i just joined the Toy dance sessions, and tried my best to pick up the steps which the majority of the senior dancers have alr learnt. i rmb this time when everyone was doing their steps and i just stood there, in the front row, not knowing what to do and it felt really horrible! but i think it really helped that wilfred & xianyou's choreo was so fun!! (: and that they did take care of us new dancers. so i'm really, really, really grateful to them.

then i'd have to thank my lovely fave mates ELISE (binti supaman), MARGARET, YINGSHI, YUTING & CHERYL (toiboi)!! if these girls weren't there when i've just joined, i really wouldn't know what to do (: so i'm really grateful for them :D and then i got to know this group of malaysian seniors who're always so on!! love them so much i think i'll hang out with them a lot in the future!! :D

i'm also thankful that the costumes turned out to be so dazzling!! if only the costume team showed us the complete design earlier! then i wouldn't have complained so much hahaha. i think the costumes really helped a lot in the end! :D

AND no matter how many times i watch the video, i think the overall performance was really good!! i was so touched by the front view vid yeah3x "deng deng deng deng deng" part i almost screamed. OMG!! love it love it ttm!! ><

okay i'm getting high just writing this blog post. i should really face the fact that rag is officially over... ): OH WAIT BUT THERE'S STILL CHINGAY!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! :D

ah wells, school starts tmr and i've got morning lecture so i shall go sleep now.

♥ Temasoff / Eumasek Rag Dance '11! (:

i've ever had a name that sounds like a certain drink before

2011-08-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

yeah im blogging at 5:30am having returned not long ago from rag drinking session.

i went for so many camps. got to know so many ppl who came from different schools, learnt that PRCs are actually called ATs in the world outside of bukit timah road, and most importantly i realized that ppl from my school are supposed to be smart (..right) oh and that bimbos actually exist IRL?! wtf damn awesome i thought they were either fictional or only exist in the US high schools in the form of blonde cheerleaders. so yeah, stereotypes, all the way.

the ogmates i've got to know through cross-fac camps are the randomly assembled bunch who'll probably end up doing a variety of different things with their life. i've had law and engin SPs, and ECs that change every week or so. haha ikr i too damn sharp can always spot THAT goodlooker in a sea of same-coloured crowd. but yeah having ECs is meaningless anw.

im ready to tackle and own sem 1. provided it's within my ability to do so haha. i'll be competing with year 2s man! must really mug damn hard like a no lifer so that all the greyed-out options will be available again! yeah so no more dota/L4D/o2jam/gta/pkmn/digimon/whatever other shit i used to play that took up my study time. i won't deprive myself of the occasional big bang theory or dexter, but other than that, it's gonna be HALL or MUGGING.

hope that i can gain back that degree of self-discipline i had before i discovered PTS was discontinued. omfg if they let me take the exam then i sure can jump one. but oh wells i kinda love my batch of monkey ppl so it's alright!

and the hall ppl are too awesome liao seriously i want to stay in hall forever ♥

okay maybe except the days when they serve orange juice in the dining hall.

got my mods!

2011-07-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

yay got the 4 mods i bidded for in round 1C! namely:

PS1101E Introduction to Politics
TS1101E Introduction to Theatre and Drama
CL1101E Introduction to Chinese Language
PS2248 Chinese Politics

and i have 500 P points left! sigh if it wasn't for the stupid sniper i'd have close to 600. but it's kay.

now that i've got all the mods i so want to take, i can't wait for school to start! oh and i looked up the TS1101E info, and i realized that 谢燊杰 is gonna be one of my lecturers/tutors! a few years ago, back in nanyang when we had compulsory chinese drama lessons, he taught me before. and i vividly rmb going to watch some toy factory production at the esplanade with.. i think it was kaini? just cos he was in it. haha back then he wasn't as well known yet i think. i wonder if he rmbs my face?

and frankly i've been to too many camps alr, and having experienced sentosa, pool games and guy-girl pairing games over and over and over, i've really really grown bored of all that. the hall camp programmes were actually quite fun, esp the sports part, BUT i really don't feel the need to stick with my og all the time and go through all the games again! guess i've really outgrown them. next year i shall just choose one of the camps to crash as councillor. or fake freshie hehe. but anw my point is, i really don't feel the need to go for the o-week games either. shall just see how it is, get to know a few ppl, and siam at the right moments. i can totally be an AOGL man.

anw i shall go take the dance blast open classes to get a feel of how it's actually like. it seems really really cool though. and the snb classes! omg. i totally have no idea what's the difference betw rumba chacha and tango, but i know i want to learn one of them! maybe it's cos of mom's 60s dance genes in me! haha. u know, i think mom was quite pretty & popular in school cos she used to tell me stories of her sneaking out to party w her group of friends at the disco. but that's not the point.

point is, im probably gonna be livin' la vida loca too for now ie. juggling six mods plus hall life and dance and aiming for a high CAP, so good luck to me, AND dance dance dance all the way! ♥

bid bid bid

2011-07-29T00:19:00.000-07:00

i acted like a rash, stubborn & insensitive kid towards mom just now. feeling a strong surge of guilt and regret right now, but as usual i can't bring myself to call her up and apologize. this here will serve as a reminder for me to do that later.

cors bidding is, as expected, a bitch. finally it's the closed bidding stage. the no. of bidders for my PS, TS & CL exposure mods are all safely within quota, but the stupid PS2000 mod is forever in the "vacancies=2 no. of bidders=2" state. i want to find out who the other bidder is leh. and actually after listening to my hall senior i kinda want to give it up already. see how.

hate it that the CL lectures/tutorials are in UTown, seriously. now they're saying there's only 1 bus stop?! so UTown is basically a self-sufficient remote area with only 1 bus stop on it's fringe.

but if everything goes well, i will have every day 12:00-14:00 plus mondays OFF.

so once again, im hoping for the best. (:

rants about HP7. by a diehard HP fan.

2011-07-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

watched HP7 on mon, like FINALLY. couldn't believe it. i told so many ppl quite some time ago that a hardcore HP fan like myself would die die go and watch on the first day one. but then! i think i was in UC for the premiere week, and after i came out of UC everyone seems to have watched it alr -.- including mei!! but apparently, she was too fixated on the tidbits & gossips she read about the actors hours ago to actl focus on the characters, so she wanted to watch it again. so yep watched the digital one w mei on mon! (:

oh look, GV FAIL. but point is, awesome seat!

yeah awesome seats, but i thought the movie wasn't really good! too many (what do u call that?) prolonged shots & pauses at certain scenes for effect.. quite unnecessary. & they deviated quite a lot fr the book for certain scenes. okay firstly for HP fans who've read the book they'll find it disturbing cos the dialogues aren't an improved version cf the book, just different meaning. and secondly, if they're trying to appeal to non-HP book readers or make it easier to understand, i would say that this whole movie isn't really accessible to this group of audience in the first place.. so why the hell change it man. just deliver the rowling lines and the movie would be much better!

hmm. the goblins are almost definitely modelled after jews; snape's eyeshadow was a little too obvious to go unnoticed; the final battle wasn't epic at all; harry definitely didn't collect enough of snape's 'tears-slash-memories' to have that much liquid to pour into the pensieve; ron looks very featureless standing beside hermione; ginny became alot prettier; & lucius malfoy wears the stubble look very well. oh on a related note, the young snape is cute.

anw they also didn't really make good use of the 19 years later part which everyone's so excited about. left out all the interesting dialogues in the book, and ended the entire movie on a sad and disappointing note.

yeah that's how unsatisfactory i found the movie to be.

anw if this anime series really comes out, i'd die for it! i don't care if i've alr shared this on twitter & fb i must post it here cos it's seriously too omgly awesome liao:

I KNOW RIGHT.

我来自中文系... not

2011-07-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

was on the phone w mei just now. even though EH already feels so much like home, perhaps owing to the fact that i've been staying in hostels for the past 6 years, i get the need to hear mei's and mom's voices from time to time. so i think i'm not gonna switch to student plan. can still talk to mom & mei for hours on end, foc. (:

she actually went for the Wu Xia premiere bout a week ago in vivo (i tipped her off abt it; was at rag), & she saw both peter chan (director of wu xia, perhaps love) AND DONNIEEEE YEN up close! not in a crowd somemore. it was like in a walkway and she was alone w a backstage guy. she was like '陈可辛和我对看了几秒钟' and '甄子丹经过我的时候我.. stun掉'// wth is wrong with u just stun him with ur CANTO larh kao. ask for an autograph or photo MAH!!

but she quite smart alr la actl persuaded the guy to bring her to meet them both when they were taking their leave. bu kui shi my mei! (:

oh i shld probably blog about the most recent camp i went to, which is twinnn's NTU chinese camp. not because im too free though. it's cos twinnn has been saying she's quite scared abt getting to know friends in a new envir or talking to ppl she doesn't know.

i ended up being super high during the camp? haha. and dragged twin along/ sabo-ed her for all sorts of stuff haha. it's quite fun leh actually! i loved the 百万大歌星 game ahaha. anw did you know that this line in the 屋顶 lyrics goes: 将泛黄的夜献给最孤独的月 ? it doesn't even make sense right?! ah anw back to the camp itself - made quite a few friends, even though i had to lie to them saying i'm in ntu socio ): but i've told the truth to the ones who asked alr la so i don't feel so guilty now! :D

after that camp was... rag prac on sun? yeah. i think i improved considerably fr the noob i was when i first joined EH/TH rag. so YAY me! :D but i know that i still have a long way to go before perfecting the moves for the actual rag, so jiayou jiayou (:

chaotah mustard

2011-07-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

so, my life's been quite haps lately? all i know it's that i barely have time to breathe, and there's this constant nagging feeling that i'm forgetting an appointment/gathering/dance prac somewhere, but all's fun and life's great.

went for UC, and even though the organization, food & transport kinda suck, i got to know a bunch of really fun ppl, with superawesome dancers & freq clubbers amongst them. social night @ novotel was kinda shocking haha when all the innerbeasts were suddenly unleashed! stunned.

animals; mustard

oh i don't even want to talk about getting a sunburn again, cos as my mom said, i was the one who signed up for all these, knowing that i burn easily. so yeah my skin's peeling once again, thank you very much, and this time i have freaking tanlines. yeah right now i'm at the peak of my tan-ness ever since lowersec! it's funny & kinda irritating that ppl would rmb me as the fair-skinned girl. why, i guess now they can't anymore, at least not for these few weeks! even though my mom was furious when she saw that im now a shade darker than she is, i don't regret it seeing i actually had lots of fun with my ogmates!

that being said, i really don't understand the girls who think being tanned is better than being fair-skinned. then again, maybe they're alr tan to start with, figured that being fair-skinned is kinda out of their reach, so they tan themselves even more & make it sound cool. for one, tanning yourself increases the risk of skin cancer. and when u're tan it's harder to apply makeup and act glam when u have to. yeah so go for fair skin man!

* * *

anw, i love how my life is currently rag-centred, and even though it did bother me that i missed the sp nights i was so looking forward to, there was some sort of compensation so it was okay. though the atmosphere got a little scary during the last rag prac, i still love the seniors! hope i can perfect all my moves before rag (:

on top of rag, im taking classes on beast's fiction & khiphop, and giving gp tuition. plus there are always gatherings here and there which i don't want to miss. then there would be all the uni orientation talks and events that are kinda impt. so yeah. my schedule is stuffed full to the brim every day, so i've postponed my 'test my limit' date w besties for the moment.

* * *

checking in to EH tmr! bet im gonna spend the whole of tmr mopping the floor and cleaning the blinds of my room haha. there's rag prac tmr too.

again, there's no time to stop and think, but i don't think i have to for now! that's the beauty of the orientation period. just go out and have fun everybodayy!!

ragoholics

2011-07-10T15:07:00.000-07:00

rag pizza night was the first time i actually drank together with seniors! hmm i guess as long as i keep the location of the gathering out of this post it should be alright. (:

yeah briefly. i actually planned to leave early fr pizza night & crash at mei's place after, but then i was informed that i could stay over for the night, so i can drink with them. i thought, since i didn't get drunk during my ocip dinner i shld be able to handle some vodka mixes? and btw the mango one was really nice and diluted. so i grabbed my cup and sat down for my first kings aka circle of death game.

it was quite fun actually. and i wasn't really watching closely when the seniors who've got the previous kings added vodka into the cup like nobody's business. but then i got the last king and had to drink half the cup! i have to say, the seniors are quite nice to me, seeing i was the only freshie there; but i finished the half anyway. kinda awful cause the vodka was so concentrated. it was later revealed that the mix was actually rather strong.. and that was when my face turned ultra red.

you know, that's the problem with my face. during ocip dinner too they kept telling me to go wash my face when i feel perfectly normal, not even high or giddy from drinking. as if i can wash off the redness lol. but that's the result of my skin being thinned by multiple sunburns. i blush super easily too, for that matter. it's super irritating though. perhaps i should like, cover my face in foundation before drinking next time haha.

yihong actually recounted to me that she once drank so much she had no recollection of what happened the night before. it's kinda scary not knowing how you ended up somewhere. oh here i have to say the makers of the hangover series are kinda awesome. anw, i kinda feel like experiencing that - i've drank a couple of times alr, and quite a lot of alcohol on every occasion, but none of which i ended up blanking out. i kept telling mei & cy that i want to test my limit, but i never really had the chance to. hmm. VERY SOON i shall.

anw back to topic, the rag seniors are a fun bunch! during rag sessions where i shld be feeling a little out of place and stressed, like wilfred said, i actually feel the warmth and fun around, which makes me look forward to every prac. ultimately it's the ppl who matters, and these seniors, they are awesome ppl. (: i got a feeling that hall life is gonna be quite cool! and i so look forward to being a part of it ahaha.

so i missed cac sp night and finale night cause of rag, but i didn't regret it. i foresee this same problem for UC too, cause rag prac next week falls on the first two days of UC, which is traditionally BOTH the SP NIGHTS. but this time the dilemma is actually present - i want to play SP omg!

ah i can alr see myself looking back on this post and think 'omg i was so childish back then, this post must delete' BUT i really feel like whining about this. on the other hand, i should pray my rag seniors don't see this. i'm alr noob enough as it is & they're so nice! lol.

i've suddenly lost my focus, so i shall end my post here.

life is starting

2011-07-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

went for my first hall rag dance prac session.

the warmup was quite tiring in itself, and then came the learning of 8 eighths.

oh turns out the wilfred is one of the dance heads! so cool.

it seemed like a fun enough choreo, just that i've missed out on like 6 or 7 sessions? (omg) so i reeeeally have to prac on my own and catch up fast!!

and almost all the hall rag dancers are year 2s & year 3s!

i thought i was the only freshie there until i found this yuting who's also a freshie staying in eusoff. but that was after the dance prac.

oh apparently eusoff and temasek are combining for this year's rag.

so there were seniors from TH there as well.

btw it was a grave mistake to have skipped a meal before the prac.

and looks like i'll have to stretch every day just to withstand the warmup -.-

random event: i was walking in toa payoh when this guy called out to me saying 'are you my snow white?' well i guess it could've been a really romantic thing to say to a girl but too bad cos i was walking in a hdb area and he didn't look anything like a prince.

on a completely unrelated note, i realize i could forget things easily - specifically the unpleasant things that i really want to forget. and that's it's a good thing.

off to cac camp, not bringing comp.

XOXO!

packing for camp

2011-07-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

the packing list is so long omg.

it's irritating that i'm unable to write about the events that have really been bothering me,

partly because both are not really mine to share.

but it's good that now my focus is back to the upcoming 4D3N camp.

doing a scavenger hunt for all the items on the list.

PL1100: Handling a Diarrhoea of Events

2011-06-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

my weekend is currently packed to the brim, with 8 conflicting events overlapping each other like nobody's business. it's really driving me mad.

decisions. really, really tough decisions.

i'm extremely overwhelmed with emotions these few days, too.

extremely elated for a moment, and then really depressed for the next.

the giant tsunami wave has started crashing upon me alr.

not complaining about the things i signed up for though.

still gonna enjoy myself ttm.

have to.

神经再大条的人，也需要思考的时候。

可是时候为什么都搞错了！

maids matter

2011-06-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

dad showed me this newspaper article just now, with the title '我是女佣，我有梦想'. it's about this indonesian maid who's so motivated she completed a diploma course in an open malaysian university while working as a maid here. and the financial backing comes from the family she works for. all of them involved are really admirable, don't you think? (:

NST article here: "Joy All Over As Maid Receives Diploma"

her name's sarmini i think.

in any case, we've had a damn smart and funny indonesian maid who was part of our family quite some years ago. my sis and i loved her so much.

she was so full of creativity pls. i still rmb vividly one of the ways she used to wake me up in the morning of school days. she would hold my shoulders and shake violently, yelling 'bu yao si, ni bu yao si ahhh!!' in a super melodramatic manner. if she's feeling particularly bochap, she would just say 'hey. tak mau pergi genting ah?' and in my half-asleep state i would panic, and wake up feeling cheated.

like other maids she would say 'ya allah' wearing an incredulous expression. but then she picked up phrases like 'shen jing bing' and 'yao si ah', and that was when she became a totally GL presence in the house. she had a knack for picking up languages though. she learnt to speak mandarin, hokkien and a little english during that few years.

then one day she requested to return to indonesia for 3 months, but she didn't come back after that. we were really sad, i think mei cried. a few years later she called back, and it turns out she's now working in taiwan as a nurse! she spoke to us in freaking taiwan-accented mandarin. it felt damn funny.

* * *

anyway as my mom would say, malaysian households are stepping stones for the smarter maids. we would train them to cook, clean and speak mandarin, so that they can get further away from indonesia to earn the 'big bucks' in hongkong or taiwan. even if their malaysian employers were so nice they treated them as part of the family.

mommy bought her maid a handphone when she asked for one, and that was back when handphones were a big deal. i didn't even have one back then. but in the end she still ran away. oh a lot of them would uh, elope with the local bangladeshi/indonesian construction workers. i suppose those would be the not-so-smart ones. one of the maids i know got into trouble for trusting a group of indonesian guys. she ended up being drugged and raped for a few days by groups of foreign workers. idk if after all that she'd still think that her running away was worth it, but i'd say it takes a great deal of determination for the maids to come and work for years, some even for decades. some of the older and more experienced maids seem really wise.

* * *

how some people have the heart to torture maids though, i really don't understand. there's nothing to gain from it. if you treat them like family, they will serve you with all their heart. but you mistreat someone who lives in your house, and you'll most probably end up being betrayed by them. you know, like sirius black haha.

if they don't get the chance to betray you or report you to the cops, at the very least, they would spit in your food or do worse stuff you don't want to find out. like steep their used pads in your soup, or add urine in your tea. apparently some of them believe in bomohs & those are amongst their ways to 下降头! damn gross pls. i've heard all sorts of real life stories about such things and was thoroughly disgusted.

so word of advice, don't be cruel to maids, or insult them in mandarin thinking they can't understand and won't do anything about it. cos chances are, they can, and they totally will.

up and coming...

2011-06-23T10:42:00.000-07:00

CAMPS CAMPS!
omg feeling so excited about the camps, esp the CAC one sounds damn fun pls! :D ahh i still can't really get over the fact that i freaking MISSED OUT on arts camp, but oh wells let's hope the other camps i signed up for are fun enough to compensate for that! (:

oh oh btw i found a not bad comedian Russell Peters on youtube. go check out the clips from his shows. his imitation of the indian, chinese, italian and black accents are kinda awesome. but i don't quite like his use of canto-english for imitations of all kinds of chinese ppl - seeing that he's a canadian and most of the chinese population in canada are made up of hongkong ppl, it's reasonable that he only uses canto-english when imitating chinese. someone's gotta tip him off about singlish and manglish - those are just as classic man.

vanity

2011-06-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

went shopping with mom and saw SALE signs everywhere.

i think there are people who only shop during june when the GSS is on, no? i bet there are people like that pls. it's so 'wu hua', and that's like the fave word around here.

anw i went into Guess and tried on a few dresses/pants.

love it.

mei said, if u bought something from Guess but it looks like sth u can get in the pasar malam, it's worthless. it's so true.

speaking of vanity and materialism.

i was discussing with mom and mei how it feels like to have a pretty friend, cos i've recently realized that i've had one all along, and i kinda feel proud of having her as my friend. in any case, i think it feels like a lot of pressure to be that pretty friend.

for one, you'll have to take your waistline into consideration whenever you eat, and that's something i absolutely can't accept. EATING is pure enjoyment, esp those that come with awesome desserts and sweet wine. apparently someone said that 'when you come across something that tastes irresistable, it's time to put down your chopsticks.'

just imho... that's CRAZY. (:

telekinesis

2011-06-14T01:36:00.000-07:00

i dreamt that i had telekinesis power! so i was moving stuff around without touching them, and it all felt super awesome until mei had to wake me up.

then i googled telekinesis to read up more about it.
oh and you know what i found? this: http://tipdeck.com/how-to-learn-telekinesis
so apparently there are ultra free idiots who write long guides like this to teach people something that's not even possible to begin with. and the sad thing is, if i were a few years younger i would really go and try it out before believing for sure that it isn't true.

i think it's the result of watching too much X-Men recently. Jean Grey... and come to think of it, Sylar too. so many fictional characters moving things around with their minds.

it's definitely photoshop.

songbirds

2011-06-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

i finished watching all 3 x-men movies at one go yesterday. felt rather awesome actually, and i totally love hugh jackman's wolverine! so next up, X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

oh btw i was thinking that hugh jackman totally looks like bruce springsteen, so i googled it and look what i found!

okay another thing. I LOVE K-SESSIONS! a few days ago with twinnn, and another one just now with mei at RedBox. my throat is slightly hurting.. you know, from "死了都要爱", "千年之恋", "Rolling in the Deep", "Ironic" and the likes. since it was only the two of us, I picked all those songs with the high notes and yelled my heart out to reach each of them, of course having tons of fun while doing so haha. i think i have the potential to sing well too, like mei! gonna learn singing properly when i have the time/money to (:

speaking of potential in singing, i think the singing genes have been passed down from my mom's side. my mom and aunt can both sing well even though their best songs are generally those set in the 80s, and OH did i mention my second uncle! his singing is damn AWESOME please sometimes he sings jacky cheung's songs better than jacky cheung! he could totally have become a singer man. but oh wells i guess he's too into finance to consider singing as a career path! it's a terrible waste of talent, really. but i once promised him that i'll write him a song someday and help find some way for him to record and publish it. gotta start working on that soon! lol. but i guess we're fortunate to have him all to ourselves when he performs in family k-sessions. :D

well i guess the singing genes were kinda diluted by genes from my dad's side when it was passed on to me. so unlike mei, it's gonna take some time to completely stabilize my voice. but anyhow, i realized there's nothing i love more than blasting music and singing my lungs out in a k-session with one or two others. well, one thing i know for sure is that, the love for singing was definitely passed down!

and that's certainly a good thing. (:

awesome day

2011-06-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

okay firstly, I GRADUATED from LUCIFER!! *throws confetti*

in the dance studio.

it was definitely fun, and i admit it took me quite some time to catch up on minho's part, but I FINALLY LEARNT THE WHOLE DANCE.

it's been so damn long since i spent so much effort in learning something - A level subjects included. OH SNAP!

and secondly, i found a long-lost friend on fb!!! :D it's been like 9 years since i talked to her? fb is such a dear i love it to death <33

and she's now in sg too! well actually i realized that many many of my primary school friends are now in sg. or rather, jb friends. that makes me happy too, now that there are more proof that i've made the right choice at 13 choosing nanyang over foon yew high. (:

thirdly, i watched an awesome movie!! that's X-Men First Class.

i haven't watched any of the x-men movies before, but having watched this i made the decision to dig out all the x-men movies to watch. to think that i've had such an awesome movie series in my hdd all along!! omg.

but then again, there were James McAvoy, Nicholas Hoult and Michael Fassbender in First Class, and apparently both Professor X and Magneto have already aged considerably in the movie series. so erm.

well, perhaps i should've watched the original movie series before watching the prequel.

but anws i still think the cameo scene was damn funny!

so all in all, i loved it (:

from watching the many many trailers i realized that blake lively's got a part in green lantern while leighton meester is gonna appear in monte carlo. good luck to the pair of them in their movie careers! love them so much <3

oh and just now i was telling shin that i got so super bored lately i actually dug out Zoids: Legacy started to play it again. theme hospital too. and he said that he got so bored too that he dug out his Yu-Gi-Oh cards and bought a booster pack somemore. then i suddenly rmbed that i still have my beyblade gizmos and whole collection of pokemon cards stored away in shoeboxes somewhere. OMG must find them hahaha the memories!

well, guess that's the result of growing up with male cousins!

first-time driver (:

2011-06-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

drove for the first time today!
manual transmission cars are damn scary pls.

i've been talking about wanting to learn driving for damn long alr, but *(insert excuses here)* so i've only had my first private driving lesson today, the coach being my super nice uncle!
btw, i think if he hadn't offered to teach me i wouldn't even have found the chance to realize my 'plan' to learn driving haha.

there's this rather convenient place for first-time drivers near the larkin stadium, so he drove me there and started teaching me the basics.

im hating the clutch pedal... with a passion. urgh.
it's so freaking hard to know how much to step on the gas pedal while releasing the clutch pedal!
the car zoomed ahead so easily i tried to step extra-lightly on the gas pedal and i didn't realize it was released completely till the car stopped and the engine stalled. rawr.

good thing that only happened once.

soon after i was able to circle around in the lane using the second gear. but i was a little worried that my practices were boring my uncle out so i stopped practising after like... 12 rounds. hahaha.

only events that made me brake and hesitate a little were a motorcycle, a car and a dog. good thing Q was there to advise me on how to deal with them... especially the dog. i almost forgot when to turn because of its sudden appearance. ):

oh i realized that playing bumper car as a kid actually helps.
whereas arcade racing games and gta are no help at all.

uncle commented that i'm very calm and composed for a first-time driver, and that i learn fast - which made me damn happy! :D
while my mom just smiled smugly and said that she used to pwn guys in driving manual cars so it's all in the genes.

but there are just too many things to memorize right now.
i haven't even finished learning my lucifer from the video yet!! and this saturday is the last lesson alr, which means we need to dress up in the same colours and perform the dance professionally while they film it.

thoughts of them filming me dancing lucifer AND side parking, are consuming me slowly by the minute. urgh.

PRAC PRAC PRAC!!!

orientation camps

2011-06-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

well, i acted on impulse once again and signed up for both the union camp & the cac social camp. please let there be at least one girl i know and let me be the only person she knows.

the camp dates are gonna be rather close to each other.

but oh wells since it's freaking first-come-first-serve & i found out a day too late about the awesome-sounding arts camp organized by my home faculty, maybe i shouldn't get my hopes too high.

hey but why is it still so freaking competitive when i have to pay ~60 bucks for each!

alright in case some OGLs/ICs find this blog and decide to me off the list, i shall stop complaining about it.

oh and speaking of weird orientation encounters... quite a few happened during the hwachong one two years ago. and well, some of my OG guys are definitely weird, and i'd rather not recall the details.

let's hope the nus orientation camps will be genuinely fun, and that there's much more to hope for... than slippery slopes!

TIFFANI

2011-06-02T13:17:00.001-07:00

twinnn>> yeahh twinn! :D and yepp :/
i realized the reply doesn't even sound coherent out of context. ahaha.

it's kinda awesome that:
1. my pri school friends call me by my chinese name 承孜/承姿;
2. my sec 1&2 and shooting friends prefer to call me Tiffany/Tiffy/Tiff;
3. and my sec 3-J2 friends would call me cherntze/CT/tze.
oh, and chernTZER for some. hahaha.

ehh but i love all those variations of my names! and i'll respond to all of the above so... take your pick! :D

but it's been so long since i had people calling me 'tiffy'! hahaha. kinda miss it.

P.S. bet emo won't be able to get used to it. HAH.

10%

2011-05-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

It's 10 percent luck, 20 percent skills;
15 percent concentrated power of will.
5 percent pleasure, 50 percent pain;
and a 100 percent reason to remember the name.

first time i listened to the song was when I was in primary school.
i've yet to learn the meaning of the f word back then, too.
but i fell in love with the song. the bg music is awesome,
and the lyrics as quoted above actually kinda motivated me in some ways.

well but now i think it's different.
luck isn't just 10 percent, that's for sure.
and i've come to learn that looks kinda displaces the "pain".

also, u really have to be at the very top of everything to be entitled to all choices available. well since the one thing i absolutely hate is to be pushed around by others and having greyed out options, i have to finally start pia-ing again.
that's something i haven't done since i got that stupid scholarship.

some people do need O levels.
if i had that i probably would have come to this realization two years ago when i end up in a sucky JC or sth.

...well NUS here i come.

C.C.

2011-05-31T17:53:00.000-07:00

i'm so past the code geass fangirl days!
don't really feel like rewatching the whole thing.
the plot, drawing and all are fantastic, but it's kinda too much to take in and think about... that is, for my entertainment.
same goes for gossip girl. and other heavy stuff.

you know what i always rewatch when i've got nth to do?
BIG BANG THEORY.
i'll put the entire playlist on loop, so it'll play from S01E01 to S04E24.
and the other half of the screen will be used to surf the web or play mind-numbing games etc. haha.

anw it's been so long since i created this skin!
i rmb i did this while listening to continued story by hitomi.
damn got 意境 right.
although the skin's super simple i'll admit!
but it'll do.(:

NUS

2011-05-30T21:26:00.000-07:00

it's like hwachong all over again, minus some true friends.

damn zhun.

2011-05-29T21:12:00.001-07:00

“日”字加一笔，你最先想到什么字？
可以看出你是什么性格的人

1、变成‘甲’字；此类型的人具有敏锐的观察力及特殊的才能，一生可能只为了追求一件事而努力；喜欢助强扶弱，打抱不平；渴望在社会上与人群中有作为，并担当他们的领导者，个性冲动，权威自信，有正义感，自强不息，爱出风头，喜欢替他人作主和发号施令。关注权利、独断，并且控制空间和领域否认弱点和缺陷充满活力，向往刺激和精彩愤怒爆发直接、面对面相信“强权就是公理”，别人会觉得专横霸道喜欢控制大局和授权给别人的乐趣，但却不喜欢被控制会保护、支持自己的朋友、家人和下属很难听从别人的意见喜欢被人尊重而不是被人喜爱是一个坚强、自信、果断和会马上采取行动去解决问题的人。比较适合开创性、冒险性的工作，因为其前进行动力是比较明显的。性格倾向：外向、主动、乐观、冲动、专制、有正义感。在感情上相对可能会比较平淡。他们在年轻时的境遇可能较辛苦，所以他们的心境大半保持冷静；谈恋爱时也一样，即使是在热恋期也会理性大于感性。

2、变成‘由’字；此类型的人在团体中，通常是大家能够信赖依靠器重的人材，具有强烈的责任感，重视自己的道德、价值观，但是喜欢出风头，有些狂妄自大。渴望事业有成就，以目标为主导，重视自我形象，希望被人肯定，受人注意和羡慕。他们能在每一刻中都适当地表现出该有的反应，善于掌握每一个机会，务求达到成功。渴望被肯定、赞赏、被他人羡慕。这类人比较适合稳定性、规律性的工作，因为比较偏好稳扎稳打。性格倾向：外向、主动、擅于交际,注意力集中在结果，而非过程，经常会疏忽自己的感受，坚持自己的目标，达不到目标就恼火，会强迫自己，因此显得比较急躁，有时会为了求效率而牺牲完美走捷径，精力充沛、热爱工作、奋力追求成功、以获得地位和赞赏，为了事业成功、声望、财富，有时牺牲情感、婚姻、家庭或朋友是一个受人欣赏、有能力、出众的人。与他们谈恋爱是最好的，因为他们很会照顾人，且对伴侣忠贞，不会有复杂的异性关系；但有些人会认为他们有思想上的洁癖，而且跟他们在一起经常会因为工作很忙而经常无法正常交往，容易出现感情分离。

3、变成‘申 ’字；此类型的人性格内向、被动、乐观、随和、顺从。通常给人亲切、善良、人际关系好的感觉，在团体中是非常受欢迎的人物，渴望人人能和平共处，怕引起冲突，怕得罪别人，怕左右为难，不争名逐利，性格温顺，与世无争，爱好大自然，写意随和，但往往给予人一种懒洋洋，没有个性，慢条斯理和满不在乎的感觉。但是因为其性格的原因，容易耽搁事情，别人会觉得其被动和优柔寡断，虽然不喜欢命令别人，但当别人命令自己时，会反感和变得倔强对于不同观点的分歧和争论。而有时为了人际关系的圆融，推卸责任和善于说谎也变成他们的特质。有着良好的事务协调能力，很懂得察颜观色。不过，此类型的女生会把婚姻和爱情摆在第一位，视野也因此受限；男性则是太受欢迎而容易有外遇的情况发生。

4、变成‘田’字；此种类型的人喜欢思考、追求知识、渴望比人知得多，懂得快，喜欢运用自己的智慧和理论去驾驭他人，他们冷静，机智，分析力强，好学不倦，善于理性，有逻辑地去处理问题并将情感抽离，不喜欢自己的空间受到骚扰。性格倾向：内向，被动，自我，喜欢思考，关注探究，喜欢寻求孤零感觉，不喜欢自己的空间受到骚扰，不擅长对他人说好听的话，喜欢独自解决问题或独自计划并执行一项计划，喜欢一个人独自思考、观察、并找寻生命的意义，是一个理解力强、重分析、好奇心强、有洞察力的人。感情方面相对比较保守，但是成功率反而更高，而且几乎没有感情方面的纠纷和外遇。

5、变成 ‘旧’字；此类型的人相当特立独行，他们的人生计划是那种“孤军奋战”型的，他们非常有自信能达成他们的计划，所以们喜欢听人家的称赞。渴望受到保护和关怀，为人忠心耿耿，但多疑过虑，怕出风头，怕生事端，怕自己力不从心，怕人虚伪，口是心非，怕事与愿违。时时需要防范被人利用和陷害，所以喜欢寻求权威的庇护，但对权威有着不信任感。所以内心深处常隐藏着恐惧和不安，对人和事缺乏安全感。性格倾向：内向、主动、保守、忠诚。关注潜在的伤害、危险、威胁。但容易放大危险、灾害，而且生性多疑，不会轻易相信别人，可是内心深处却希望得到别人欣赏和肯定常问自己是否有做错事，因为害怕犯错误而被责备要求公平，期望付出和所得想得到对事情通常想的太认真。但却是是一个忠诚、值得信赖、勤力的人。对于感情方面，喜欢标新立异，与从不同，因此也不太安定。而且在谈恋爱时，他们不是那么在乎对方的情绪，因为他们常满足于自我的情绪中而忽略了对方。

6、变成‘白’字；此种类型的人自我意识很强，在美感方面有独特的见解，不会盲目追求流行，而自尊心也比较高，拥有与众不同的理想，且会为实践理想而努力不懈怠。觉得这世界充满了刺激的事物和体验，人生的目的在于追求快乐，而“好玩”更是其做事的动力。对于爱情他们可以马上选择出他们所要的，而且绝对忠贞，但这也意谓他们的占有欲极强，而且因为他们通常在心中已有一个理想的情人模型，所以想掳获他们的心，最好的方法就是彻底的了解他。性格特点：外向好动，活泼开朗，精力充沛，兴趣广泛，时常想办法去满足自己想要的，爱玩，贪新鲜而怕作承诺，渴望拥有更多，倾向逃避烦恼，痛苦和焦虑。外向、主动、乐观、贪玩、缺乏责任感。多才多艺，兴趣广泛，不喜欢被限制，乐于探索，贪图享乐，对有兴趣的事很入迷，喜欢上餐馆、娱乐、旅行或同朋友谈天说地的美好享受，但不善于处理繁琐和细节的任务，是一个快乐、热心、思想正面的人。

7、变成‘目 ’字；此种类型的人，你可以说他具有协调性，也可以说他优柔寡断、没原则。他们非常害怕自己受到伤害，所以自我防卫心很强，有时还会因过度防卫而伤了对方。他们希望每件事都做得最完美、使自己和世界变得更完美，但却经常有些急于求成反而没有如愿以偿。做事力求正确完美，有原则，有标准，常有自我批判并要求他人按自己标准去做事情的倾向，理性正直，时常压抑自己人性中不理性的一面，怨而不宣。性格倾向：内向、被动、批判。关注错误，纠正错误，有责任、独立、勤奋工作，有理性、成熟、有目标，有原则、有标准、且看中效率，但是喜欢批评别人，吹毛求疵，做事没有耐性、喜欢先工作，后享乐，喜欢压抑冲动和渴望过度刚性，是一个合理、实际、脚踏实地的人。但是在爱情路上，他们很容易受到**而转移目标，虽然不是故意的，却因此伤了很多人的心。

8、变成‘电’字；此类型的人个性非常复杂，有多方面的特质，只要一不小心就很容易迷失自我，因为搞不清楚自己到底是怎样的一个人。喜欢把焦点放在关系和感觉上，不开心时，喜欢独自一人来处理，和不熟的人交往时，会表现沉默和冷淡，特别容易被人生哀愁、悲剧所触动，认为被他人误解是一件特别痛苦的事，但是其创造力、热情和丰富的感情却非常地吸引人，所以在其身边从不缺少朋友！当遭到拒绝、挫折时，便会退缩，变得沉没、害羞，当别人面临危机时，会很支持及同情他们，有很丰富及活跃的想象力，喜欢把事物重组一个新的模式。是一个直觉、敏感、有创造力的人。在爱情方面，他们因为拥有多方面的特质，所以很容易吸引到异性。

9、变成‘旦’字；这类人常常非常喜欢帮助他人，渴望被爱，受人感激和认同，善解人意，有同理心，热情地去满足他人需要而又希望不被察觉。性格倾向：外向、主动、感情丰富，关注去满足重要的其他人，乐于付出，希望努力满足他人需要，成为他人不可缺少的人，喜欢压抑或疏忽自己的感受，不喜欢向人直接表达自己的真实感受，缺乏自主和想法，喜欢与朋友相处，并乐于倾听他们的事情，对人热情、友善、有爱心和有耐心，重视人际关系，是一个关怀、乐于助人、慷慨的人。其感情生活非常地细腻，所以能与这类人谈恋爱，会让你活得更愉快。但是因为不善于拒绝别人，所以有时候也会把自己搞得很累，给自己增加了许多不必要的麻烦。

10、无法组成字此类型的人常觉得自己和别人不同，是不平凡和独特的人。我觉得自己是一个感情丰富的、浪漫的、有品位、有个性和喜欢我行我素的人。渴望自我了解和他们的内心感受被人认同，喜欢我行我素，不媚俗，感情丰富，思想浪漫有创意，拥有敏锐的触觉和审美眼光。性格倾向：内向，被动，多愁善感、感情丰富，喜欢把焦点放在关系和感觉上，不开心时，喜欢独自一人来处理，和不熟的人交往时，会表现沉默和冷淡，特别被人生哀愁、悲剧所触动。认为被他人误解是一件特别痛苦的事，当遭到拒绝、挫折时，便会退缩，变得沉没、害羞。当别人面临危机时，会很支持及同情他们，有很丰富及活跃的想象力，喜欢把事物重组一个新的模式是一个直觉、敏感、有创造力的人。感情方面有些过分小心而经常受到挫折，而且也容易失恋，其感情生活要吗就一生只有一个，要嘛，就可能经常更换其身边的女朋友。

choice.

2011-05-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

made my uni choice yesterday at 6am in the morning.
not sure if it's really the best choice, but there's no way to change it le.

how it happened... well, i was weighing the pros and cons between the two for a few hours, and suddenly i got bored of all that, ground my teeth and clicked on NUS.

then came all the hall choices and stuff.
heard that most of the msian guys are in eusoff hall hmm.
i do yearn for an active hall life, at least with activities cooler than those we organized for the scholars in HCIBS. oh god the memories.

need to talk to someone about it. rawr.

Harvest Moon

2011-05-06T02:36:00.000-07:00

just received an email entitled "Invitation to the HSS Tea Party".
and for a fleeting moment,
i seriously thought i was invited to the Harvest Sprite's Spring Tea Party.
so was stunned for a moment.

well, as it turns out...
it was an invitation to the NTU School of Humanities & Social Sciences Tea Party.
PHAIL much! haha.

it's been like dk how long since i played that mind-numbing game!
guess i used to play it so much that bits of it are stuck with me forever.

... well, at least gray's kinda cute! (:

well...

2011-05-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

it's a new beginning! :D